Level Titles as Quests

The old/basic D&D level titles are kinda pointless when divorced from their war-game roots. But we can repurpose them to be goals in the following super-short leveling system:

At session's end you will be awarded between 0 to 3 XP, depending on how metal things got. At 10XP, you are ready to quest. Your quest depends on the level title you are earning. 

Fighty types

2.  Warrior: Deal the killing blow on a biggie baddie that is giving a community trouble.
3.  Swordsman: Square off with an armed boss. No allies can get involved in the melee (the baddie needn't follow these rules).
4.  Hero: Save an endangered or jailed NPC, getting them back to safety.
5.  Swashbuckler: Be the decisive part of a sea-battle. Swashbuckling on airships or spaceships also allowed.
6.  Myrmidon: Join a group with a strong leader and mercilessly carry out their will.
7.  Champion: Go on a mission for the powers that be, either royalty, a khan, or extra-planar big wigs.
8.  Superhero: Defeat a monster that could be the stuff of myths, like a hydra.
9.  Lord: Take the reigns of a city or people. Heavy is the head, Conan.

 Mage types

2.  Seer: Visit a Delphic site to get arcane wisdom.
3.  Conjurer: Summon or manifest something (research a spell and cast it).
4.  Theurgist: Learn about lost history, perhaps by bringing a strange cult to light.
5.  Thaumaturgist: Do a great magical work in front of a crowd that will spread tales of your wonder-working.
6.  Magician: Craft a magic wand or staff that you will wield.
7.  Enchanter: Bewitch or transfigure an important creature or place.
8. Warlock: Make a pact with a powerful entity to gain some of its power.
9. Sorcerer: Eat another mage's brain. "I assure you it was necessary, my fellows!"
10. Necromancer: Raise the dead for a great purpose (we'll have to adjust the spell lists or something, methinks).
11. Wizard: Defeat a demon lord or trick a god.

Clerical types:

2.  Adept: Join in on a holy mission.
3.  Village Priest: If you build it, they will come.
4.  Vicar: Act as the hand of a higher cleric in a matter of some importance.
5.  Curate: Cleanse an area of all undead or evil spirits.
6.  Bishop: Guide several temples in a religious campaign.
7.  Lama: Perform a mission in the higher spheres, cleansing yourself in the process.
8.  Patriarch: Time to establish a new sect. Find a relic to build it around and prepare for a holy war.
 

The filchy type titles don't seem to lend themselves well to group play. Maybe play by post with the DM during downtime between group adventures would be more appropriate. Here are the titles tho. Make shit up; I ain't got time for dirty thieves. In fact, take all quest ideas in this post as mere suggestions. You propose a quest and the DM tries to work with it.

2. Footpad: Stab some ponce.
3. Cutpurse: Filch a McGuffin.
4. Robber: "Your money or your life. Please don't tell my paladin friend."
5. Burglar: Steal 39 girdles.
6. Filcher: Get those gems that are acting as idol eyes, no matter how bad an idea.
7. Sharper: Trick a powerful entity.
8. Magsman: Convince a big cheese that you won't stab them in the back, then stab them in the back.
9. Thief: Steal the royal jewels.
10. Master Thief: Steal Orcus's wand.

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Oozes I found on Google Drive (not mine)

The author of these is a mystery. I tried searching about. Due diligence here. Sign your work, people. I think it was on one of the many blogs that jerks closed up (WHY DO PEOPLE DO THAT?!)

1. Face Sucker Ooze: Init: +5; Atk grasp +4 melee; AC 10; HD 1d8; MV 50’, climb 30’; Stealth +4; Resistant to slashing and piercing; Vulnerable to fire and cold; Align: Neutral. This small but deadly ooze will stalk its prey for hours for a chance to take it by surprise. A successful melee attack results in the ooze firmly attached to its target’s face, creating a powerful vacuum between it and the target. Target must make a successful DC 15 Strength check to wrest free of the ooze. Each turn the ooze remains affixed, the target must make a Constitution check or suffer 1d6 damage. After three accumulative failed Constitution checks, the vacuum will become powerful enough to pull the target’s innards through its mouth, instantly killing it.

2. Gelatinous Polyhedral: Init: +X; Atk pseudopod +X melee (1dX); AC 10+X; HD 1dX; MV 5+1dX’, climb 5+1dX’; Resistant to slashing and piercing; Align: Neutral. Choose a polyhedral die at random. Ooze takes the rough shape of that die. All instances of X in the stat block are equal to the number of sides on chosen die.

3. Mint Jelly: Init: +5; Atk pseudopod +4 melee (1d8); AC 12; HD 2d8; MV 15’, climb 15’; Stealth +5; Resistant to slashing and piercing; Vulnerable to cold; Align: Neutral. Native to jungles and temperate forests, this slime stretches its body along the moss and fern covered ground and emits a sweet, refreshing scent in order to attract its prey. The slime can cover an area approximately 20 feet in diameter, but it will wait to strike until at least one target is in the center of its reach. Any creature within 10 feet of the mint jelly must make a saving throw vs Poison or be surprised when the jelly attacks.

4. Silver Slime: Init: +6; Atk pseudopod +6 melee (2d6); AC 16; HD 4d8; MV 50’, climb 30’; Resistant to slashing, piercing and cold; Vulnerable to fire and bashing; Align: Neutral. This slime resembles a living mass of mercury, having the ability to emulate slashing and piercing weapons with its pseudopod. When threatened by multiple attackers, the silver slime will take a shape not unlike a sea urchin, hitting any melee attackers who fail a Dexterity check with 1d10 of piercing damage.

5. Night Slime: Init: +5; Atk bite +2 melee (1d4); AC 10; HD 1d4; MV 60’, climb 40’; Stealth +6; Resistant to slashing and piercing; Vulnerable to fire and light; Align: Neutral. These nocturnal slimes are a nuisance for farmers and herders as they tend to prey on livestock in the darkest hours of the night, feeding by sucking blood through a long pseudopod tipped with a primordial mouth. Night slimes are solitary hunters but large colonies can be found in caves. When attacked, the Night Slime will emit a pheromone that will provoke any other slimes within 100 feet to swarm. Most colonies house 3d20 night slimes.

6. Mile Slime:  Init: +6; Atk pseudopod +6 melee (1d8); AC 14; HD 6d8; MV 30’, climb 30’; Resistant to slashing and piercing; Vulnerable to fire, cold and lightning; Align: Neutral. The mile slime is an efficient predator that covers the most amount of ground by stretching itself into many thin pseudopods radiating from a central location. It is most likely that an encounter with a mile slime will begin with an attack from only one of the whip-like arms, but another arm will appear in 1d6 rounds. Additional arms will continue to appear, often from many different directions, one after another until the hit points of the slime are depleted. At that point the arms will retreat, but it is unlikely that the slime itself is dead as only a small portion of its body has been present for the fight.

7. Stuffing Slime: Init: +5; Atk grasp +4 melee; AC 10; HD 1d8; MV 50’, climb 30’; Stealth +4; Resistant to slashing and piercing; Vulnerable to fire and cold; Align: Neutral. A relative to the face-sucker ooze, the stuffing slime has evolved a similar hunting technique with a decidedly opposite means of killing its prey. With a successful hit, the stuffing slime will fix itself to the face of the victim. A successful DC 15 Strength check is required to remove the slime. On a failed Strength check, the slime will begin to stretch its body into the cavity of the victim’s lungs and stomach. A DC 15 Constitution check is required for every round that the stuffing slime remains on the victim. After the third accumulative failed Constitution check, the victim’s insides have been filled and death occurs.  

8. Over Ooze: Init: +0; Atk pseudopod +4 melee (1d4); AC 10; HD 1d8; MV 15’, climb 15’; Stealth +5; Resistant to slashing and piercing; Vulnerable to fire and cold; Align: Neutral. Not much unlike your standard primordial ooze in composition, this slime has developed a specific hunting technique that sets itself apart. The over ooze will stretch its body into a net-like matrix upon the ceiling of a cave or dungeon. It then lowers hair-thin filaments to act as sensors. When two or more creatures are under the over ooze, it will drop from the ceiling, entangling all below it in an area up to 30’ in diameter. A DC 15 Strength check is required to break from the ooze. Bladed weapons provide a +2 to the escape attempt but the restriction of the net prevents the blades from harming the ooze enough to remove hit points. An attacker must be free from the ooze to deal damage.

9. Smile Slime:  Init: +0; Atk pseudopod +1 melee (1d4); AC 10; HD 1d6; MV 30’, climb 30’; Resistant to slashing and piercing; Vulnerable to fire, cold and charm spells; Align: Neutral. These small blue slimes are friendly and helpful in nature. In fact, helping sentient beings appears to be their primary motivation and it is believed by some monster ecologists that the slime literally feeds from the approval of higher beings. The slime takes a vaguely oval shape with what appears to be the shape of a grinning humanoid face protruding from its back. Upon encountering a sentient being, the smile slime will become docile and subservient. The face will most closely resemble its last “master” and the slime will be able to learn to communicate using facial expressions used by its master after 1d4 weeks in his service. Smile slimes are slow to engage in violence and will often find creative ways to help their master should he be threatened or wish harm upon another.

10. Blink Ooze: Init: +0; Atk digestive acid +8 melee (1d8); AC 12; HD 8d8; MV 5’; Resistant to slashing and piercing; Vulnerable to fire; Align: Neutral. Typically used as a security measure by paranoid wizards, a blink ooze will fill the entirety of a room but will remain invisible and intangible until triggered by any magic spell. Any subsequent spell casted will return the blink ooze to its pocket dimension. The intention in installing a blink ooze is that a spellcaster and any companions will be trapped in the middle of the ooze, slowly being digested by the creature, unable to perform the gestures needed to cast a spell to banish the ooze. Persistent effects from magical items do not count as spells in triggering the blink ooze.

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For it is Dark and We May Die (a dismemberment table)

Are you prepared for the death
you've earned, little man?

Running a little Arden Vul Shadowdark lately. Sign up via my email at the bottom there.

We had been playing with "CON score is your back real HP". But it seems a bit too easy. Just a bit. So I'm thinking of a new rule (I think Arnold K and Cavegirl deserve some idea credit for wound systems here): 
 
Minimum HP is zero. While you are at 0 HP, you are fine, but you can only take a number of extra hits equal to your CON mod before you enter the dying state, and each hit will force a roll on the table below.

Roll a d20 - damage taken from the attack that hit you while you were in this HP-less state. LVL 5+PCs may roll a d30 instead.

Nat 1: Gory death: Every ally that witnesses it has to roll WIS vs 12 or freak out as per the losing it table below.

5 or less: Maimed: You lose a limb, an eye, or some fingers. You survive, but you're not whole. Besides the logical problems of losing bits, you need to roll a CHA check vs this roll or freak out till you get some good drugs. 

Losing It table Roll a d6.
1) Go ape-shit, attack everything
2) Run away--roll on the megadungeon table
3) Nihilistically give up "YES! KILL ME!"
4) Revert to childlike personality
5) Manic screaming or laughter that the others cannot shut up
6) Fruitless attempt to reattach missing bit

6-15: Defeated and on the ropes: You’re out of it until you make a CHA (willpower) check (on your turn's beginning) or someone uses an action to splash you with something. Equal chance of a concussion or a scar.

16-19: Supine: You're knocked down indefinitely and have to make a STR check to stand up, unless an ally spends their action to rally you.

Nat 20 (or more): You're fine (this time). In fact you inspire your group with advantage for the rest of the round (if your turn is last, well tough cookies; at least you didn't die).

The above table was kinda made with a just-losing-your-turn-is-boring kinda mindset. There should be something interesting happening with you. Even if you do go down you got the usual death roll mechanics of Shadowdark to give you something to do when the round comes round to you.

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Exumed: The Undead Monks of Forsaken Ooth

The following text I retrieved from the dead Gorgonmilk blog.

 I wonder what happened to old Gorgy; IIRC, he was half of Dolmenwood and fell from grace after saying something that disturbed some people on a dead platform. Anyways, the artist is deadish now, so enjoy!  --Claytonian



The kernel for these ideas is found in the description of the weird brew sent by Jim [of Hereticwerks] for our Table of Weird Drafts. Jim alludes to a mysterious group of liqueur-crafting undead monks. It was suggestive enough to make me wonder just who these fellows may be, what they might be about. Here are some bullet points that attempt to answer these questions:

FORSAKEN OOTH

• A pulp “lost city” setting inhabited by a forgotten order of undead monks
• Full of meticulously clean but largely empty buildings where an extinct race of humanoids once dwelled.
• Surrounded by a dense Purple Jungle inhabited by carnivorous trees, psychogenic mushrooms and sinewy displacer beasts.
• Domesticated, floating lamia roam the streets. Their jewel-like eyes have the power to paralyze humanoids with fear. These lamia feed slowly and must wait for their acidic spew to partially dissolve their prey before they can masticate on its flesh with their soft teeth.
• Few records of Ooth’s existence have survived through the aeons.

THE UNDEAD MONKS WHO WATCH THE DOORWAY

• Seventeen monastics who have maintained the city of Ooth since time out of mind.
• Their withered mouths are stitched shut with cat-gut. The string is replaced according to ritual every eleven years.
• A monk’s “eyes” are actually glyph-engraved obsidian balls. One allows him to see the astral plane while the other gazes on the material world with hawk-like acuity.
• The monks follow the Mandate of the Dark Mother which obligates them to guard the Lesser Doorway to Ywaru, where the hideously bloated Mother of Monsters sleeps and occasionally gives birth to new abominations.
• The monks are obsessed with the craft of obscure drafts and philters. Rarely an ancient example of their liqueurs might be found stashed away in the wine cellars of remote and eldritch kingdoms.

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Rotating Players, Stable PCs Campaign Plan

I've been  running DCC online for over ten years, since the beta, when we all used Google Video Chat and it was free. In those days, player attendance was pretty consistent. I think it may have been because I played during weekdays.

Of late, I've been running elf games on weekends because of my job. Fridays and Saturdays for my American players. Attendance has not been so consistent. We all enjoy the game, but real life gets in the way.

To deal with that, I’ve been running megadungeons lately. I try to not end the session in the dungeon—someone inevitably can’t make it and face the consequences of a cliffhanger they helped to set up. So get in, grab some stuff, and get out. Drop in play. Most players come once or twice a month to the weekly games.

Unfortunately, this has lead to rather shallow roleplaying. There is a serious dearth of funny PC voices and talking in character. We are a bit over meeting the new guys too—will this player even be able to make it again? 

And I miss roleplaying as a GM too; it feels like megadungeons often lack the good NPC meat I need to ham it up.

So, here is what I am thinking for when my DCC players finish the current Thracia delves: 

DCC by the book. The vision that Goodman gives in the core rules (yet is oddly often lacking in the modules).

What does that mean? Well in DCC’s pages are guilds, orders, cults, patrons, and spells that all need questing to satisfy. There’s a whole section about questing for it. Did you know that wizards are not guaranteed to know spells by leveling up? My players don’t seem to. But you are supposed to research and get deep in that shiz. There are tons of things to quest for in DCC. Gold should be sought to level up faster via training. Curses from the appendix should be an onus, driving  PCs to find a way to break them. Luck points should be sought by fulfilling alignment missions. 

But what about the inconsistent attendance of the players? Well, that’s where I wanna try something a bit radical: Five core PCs that the players take turns playing (there are seven classes in the book). That means we have a bit of a first come, first served mentality to attendance. You show up on time, you get a PC, preferably the one you played last time, but not always. Conversely, if there are only like three players, well, they gotta do double duty and run a couple PCs each.

If other players show up and the PCs have been handed out, maybe give them a hireling from a roster that the party retains. If a PC dies, a henchman can level up to first level and start being important.

In this manner, I think there will be an actual running, emergent narrative. Maybe I will be the only one that truly knows what is happening, but I can do session reports for people that care (some are only here to mindlessly cast spells and kick butt).

In the meantime, I’ll be running Arden Vul on my other game day, and trying to find ways to get the players there involved. Maybe a spotlight on one PC at the beginning of each session.

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What happens when you end the session in the Mega Dungeon

Staying in any megadungeon when playing a drop-in game is a risky enterprise (cuz sheeeet, I dunno if you are gonna show to play in a week or three months sometimes, ya crazy IRL players). Your character has to try and find their way safe and sound back to base.

Roll a die based on the judge’s surmization* of what the party make-up is looking like. Rolling low is good.

Party is fine, they have a well-thought route back: d16     
Party is a little worn down, deep, or laden: d20    
Party is low on HP or supplies, is carrying heavy junk, or lost: d24

Party is ragged, hunted, or pissed off the gods: d30

So when it is time for you to roll, roll once and compare that roll to your ability scores. If half or more of your scores were rolled at/under with the die, then you are fine. If the majority of your scores were not rolled at/under, we got a problem. 

Determine randomly among the failed-against scores, what will be your downfall and consult the below table:

Failed score            Problem (fumbles are rolling the highest number on the die)

• STR                Nearly starved on your way out. Ration needs doubled next outing. 
  
  Fumble: d4 STR dmg too, hungry Hank. 
  
  
  
• DEX                You dropped something, determined at random, down a hole. 
  
  Fumble: whole pack! 
  
  Equally likely fumble: An arch-enemy came across it.
  
  
  
• CON               Dungeon crud; start the next outing down half HP. 
  
  Fumble: Very bad crud. Save or die!
  Equally likely fumble: Catch a disease. 
  
  
• INT                 You got lost in the dungeon. Each room entered has a 10% chance of having your PC (your responsibility to check; play a backup PC while searching). We have [your lost PC's level] sessions to find you. 
  
  Fumble: You are stuck in a trap, enslaved, or jailed and will have to be broken out.
  
  
  
• WIS                You were robbed of something while unawares. A monster has it now. If it was your lucre, you don’t get XP for treasure until you get it back.
  
  Fumble: You also take the result of one more ability score failure, determined at random.
  
  
  
• CHA               You managed to piss off a faction. They know what you look like. 
  
  Fumble: Fatwa!

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*Look, maybe surmization is not a word, but surmise sounds weird as a noun, cromulent tho it may be, and judgement would have been redundant sounding in that sentence. I could have reworded it, but here we are.
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My DM Bugbears

This is a list of comments and consternations that constantly come up in my campaigns, sometimes cantankerously or contentiously so. I don't always get into them, cause RPG settings often win out due to being a bit of a buzz kill to shoot down.

1. I hate dark vision. You don’t get darkvision. You are supposed to be scared and afraid.
   Underworlders see in the dark cuz evil is metal AF.
   Permanent light sources should be rare. No rods of light without a catch. What light yoiu do get is dim.
   
   
2. Torches suck. Candles suck.
   Torches blind you. Candles flicker out and are dim.
   Torches are not so easy to just put together. You need stick, wick, and fuel.
   Advanced darkness is awesome tho. Now everything sucks like a candle.
   
   
3. "What class does the party need?"
   My sibling in Christ, the dice decide what your ability scores are, then you choose a class/species based on what you can make do with.
   
   
4. Clerics should worship all the gods, patrons, and saints that they can. 
   
   
5. Molotov oil flasks should not be a thing.
   I'm kinda open to high-proof alcohol and alchemy tho.
   
   
6. It's not easy to backstab in combat.
   It’s mostly about ambushes. If you check to creep or your fighter friend sets you up for the alley-oop, I'm down to clown.
   Backstabs should not be limited to the thievin classes.  
   
   
7. Orcs shouldn't have babies. BTW all dwarves are statues and elves are immortal in both directions.
   
   
8. "I hit him with the flat of my sword." If you knock out someone, you have just endangered their life. 
   Maybe I'd make an exception if we were playing a pulp, Hollywood-logic game.
   
   
9. Blacksmiths and merchants shouldn't hold much interest in purchasing used gear, except as scrap.
   This ain't Final Fantasy.
   
   
10. PCs should be constantly freaking out and making knee-jerk actions. 
    I think fumble rules help here. 
    You ever see someone try to shoo a bat out of their house? Now imagine it's them trying to deal with a spider the size of a doberman. 
    
    
11. "I aim at the one that is most hurt." 
    No you fucking don't. In the chaos of battle, you panic a bit and flail at the closest guy or, if you are really cool, one that not standing next your friend. 
    It's dark in here and everyone is dodging about. You are lucky you don't hit allies more often.
    When in doubt, I ask the dice who you attack. 
    Choosing slightly stabbed targets reeks of playing the game as a boardgame and munchkinism.
    
    
12. Locals should kinda hate you.
    You are grubby murder-hobos that are crazy enough to go into holes.
    You spend all your money carousing.
    You try to sell junk and are constantly trying to bargain up the price.
    You got those demi-human freaks with you. Demi-hyooms should be a rare spice, BTW.
    You never bathe.
    I'll make a bit of an exception in an isekai setting. 

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