Monday, April 25, 2022

Choose the form of the traveler

Been thinking about dungeon events a lot recently as I work on my megadungeon Shmégel Manor. The other day Turn came out. It was a good little thing. Just picked up my copy of RND issue 4, which I got back in 2017 when I contributed a couple pieces of art to it, and the last page was also inspirational. So I'mma spitball a thing. Based around trusting your players to make their PCs suffer.

If you want to see another take on abstract timekeeping to work on dungeon resources, I like my own post here

For the happenings determination in the first place, the old 1 on a d6 method is fine. I'm partial to rolling 2d6 and checking for doubles. The bottom table could be rolled on with a d30, d50, or d60 to consolidate encounter chance with results (any result not 1 thru 12 would be that nothing special happens).

d12    Result

1         Ask a player, what song is flitting through their character's mind right now.

2         Ask a player what they are searching their pack for that seems to be missing.

3         Ask a player what the tracks they just found seem to be.

4         Ask a player how they are going to deal with their fatigue.

5         Ask a player what they are running out of.

6         Ask a player what they see shambling out of the darkness.

7         Ask a player what just grabbed their ankle.

8         Ask a player who the familiar person they see is and what is wrong with them. 

        Ask a player what rumor or legend is fleeting across the back of their mind.

10       Ask a player who they are thinking of from their past.

11       Ask a player what sound the party hears echoing through the halls.

12       Ask a player what kind of trap the one they just triggered is.


Share good posts with good goblins. Claytonian at the gmails.

Friday, April 22, 2022

d12 Crazy Monster Abilities & Twists

This is a non-exhastive list. Your task, dear reader, is to roll on the table and make a monster today! Note that you decide the specifics. For instance, a Midas could transform things into whatever. You'll see.
  1. Bloodied: something special happens when the monster is down to half HP. Thanks, 4e Obama.
  2. Death boon: slaying it blesses the slayer.
  3. Death curse: it's bad luck to kill an angel.
  4. Shut up: Verbose about the fight. Maybe polite!
  5. I'll be back: Gaseous or vermin form escape.
  6. Invincible.
  7. Somebody help me: Needs to posses a PC's body to interact with reality.
  8. Sympathy for the devil: Hurting it hurts you.
  9. Magic hole: any weapon that strikes it turns to spaghetti. Any wand pointed at it turns to fetta.
  10. Avengance shall be mine: PCs are marked for revenge if they harm the monster; something strong will stalk them.
  11. Turtle: Transforms to regenerate for a few rounds, and may have a strong antipathy field or putties show up to protect it.
  12. Midas: If something touches it, 1 cubic ell of that thing turns to gold. Sucky lead midases escape alchemical explosions sometimes.

Share good posts with good goblins. Claytonian at the gmails.

Tuesday, April 19, 2022

On the Spontaneous Generation of Porcs

Recently my group started playing FAGE RPG. And players were like, rolling my race herp derp I'm a gnome! Hey me too!  And I'm like, nah, you are just dwarves tho. And the book was like, be an orc too, and I was like, I don't know if I want that cuz orcs are kinda basic, but the players gnashed their terrible teeth and so here we are.

First off, orcs are porks. They have pig faces and lolling tongues. Second, porks are not a normal species per say; they are a phenomenon. They grow out of underworld dank. They bubble out of ritually-cooked elf corpses. They roll, unbidden, out of necromancers' shadows. They spawn with weapons that moulder away if the pork dies.

They have no souls, and are anthromorphosized expressions of evil in mankind's collective unconciousness. They don't have babies, love, or lust. No creedos, tastes, or art. They instinctively gather to further the aims of evil. They posses language only as a means to decieve and demoralize. They are arguably not even sentient, so they can't be tortured nor successfully negotiated with. You shouldn't feel bad about slaying them; they are humanoid viruses, and their resemblance to humans and pigs is a cosmic parody at best. 

But. Sometimes. One gains a soul. Who can say how. Afflicted with a mind and feelings, they wander off. They learn. They walk, blinking in the sunlight. They learn fire bad. They learn of gods and to curse them. 

Those that survive sapience might become adventurers.

Share good posts with good goblins. Claytonian at the gmails.

Sunday, April 17, 2022

Horrors and Guardians Under the Keep That Contains the Dark Lord

NOTE: I found this draft from like 10 years ago. It was the proto-Calabraxis. You can see it if you squint.  I'm not sure where the map is, but it wasn't super important.